(Tumblr needs to make these things rebloggable)
I made this giant reply with my entire biography and thoughts about depression and stuff but nobody really cares about that, so here’s my two main points:
The best thing about this is that this realisation is such a breakthrough when you have it, that you’re not just crap at dealing with life (not entirely), but that your brain is kind of unwilling to co-operate with you sometimes and it’s just a thing that happens and you’ve got to be patient with it and try and be okay.
The whole ‘telling people’ thing is awkward for me because I have months of being okay and then periods where I’m not, so it’s often a very small part of my day to day life (and then suddenly it’s not, but whatever).
So if I talk to someone and they say ‘are you doing okay?’ like I’m a mentally unstable person, it makes me realise that people don’t know what’s happening in my head, so because the world is binary ‘not-crazy/crazy’, there could be something wrong with me RIGHT NOW. Which is understandable. Obviously. I have no idea what anyone is feeling. But when you’ve been okay for a while and you’re not even thinking about it, it’s kind of crappy. Obviously it’s all out of love, but it’s still not a comfortable thing to talk about. Especially when you’re blindsided by it. Really, that’s the only downside to telling people, because they’ll always have this gnawing concern that you might not be okay, and they have no way of telling, so if they ask you questions, try and tell them. Or let them know that if you have a problem, you will tell them, so that will stop them asking you.
But I wouldn’t have kept it a secret. It’s not something everyone needs to know, because it’s generally something I deal with by myself, but having a few people to talk to is very helpful. I think if you start going to doctors and stuff, telling family and close friends is definitely healthy. I mean, I tend to do this with most medical stuff, it just seems helpful to me. Obviously telling someone you have a problem is going to make them worried, but if you continue to talk to them throughout your treatment (both good and bad days), they’ll gain a greater understanding, just as you will, and it won’t seem as scary any more. Talking can be really uncomfortable but it’s worth doing.